Helping Teenagers Cope With Their Troubles

Some folks say that the "teenage years are the toughest". For you
and them! Growing up is a continual process filled with regular
highs and lows. As a parent, it's expected. But what can you do
to help through the tough times they might face down the road of
life? Here are some quick tips for those parents that are
struggling to understand their "troubled teens".


COMMUNICATION COUNTS!

While most teens can be pretty "tight-lipped" about many of their
complicated issues they might be trying to handle or hash out on
their own, simply taking the time to ask them what's bothering
them or what's going on can REALLY help. Even if you don't have
the best line of communication with your teen, or it has somehow
broken down as they have gotten older, most teens are willing,
and ready, to open up to you in most cases.

Remember to always LISTEN FIRST to what they have to say. While
the topic of discussion may not seem that important in your eyes,
teens see everything as a tragedy waiting to happen! To them,
what they are going through is almost like the "end of the world"
or at least the end of THEIR world. Most teens are self-centered,
and so, the entire world as it relates to them, which is pretty
much every single aspect of it, revolves around them. At least,
in their thought process.

No matter how compelled you might be, DON'T INTERRUPT THEM! Let
them get the weight of their concerns or problems off their chest
without "butting in" irregardless of how upset you might be at
what they are revealing to you. Yes, they are letting you inside
their small, strange teen world, so be grateful. It will help to
strengthen their trust in you not to EXPLODE on them and further
open the line of communication between you both.


UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION
After your teen has revealed the crux of their current situation,
HOLD YOUR TEMPER, no matter how bad it is. Let them know that
despite their actions, you love them without boundary and always
will. Try putting yourself into "their shoes" and look at the
situation from their vantage point.

Without being too "preachy" explain to them that you too were
once a teen and had some rough patches, or made poor choices
yourself, but you made it through and so will they. Teens don't
like being lectured. They get enough of that in school!

Your goal is to be friendly without being their friend. You are
still the parent and as the parent, you MUST hand down
disciplinary consequences for their actions. Do your best to not
blur this thin line. It will just make things more difficult for
you both later on.

Also, remember, that the point here is to let them understand
that you are ALWAYS available to listen when they are having
problems. And through your life experience you are ready with
solutions to those problems.


GET HELP OUTSIDE THE FAMILY
If your teen's particular situation is too much for you to
effectively offer a solution or help them, don't be afraid to ask
for help elsewhere. There are outstanding organizations out there
ready to help. You can find just the right one by searching
through the Yellow Pages or doing a topic search online to get in
touch with the proper organization.

It's important for the health and well-being of your teen to do
everything in your power to help. Also keep in mind that whatever
the age, unless your teen is willing to TRY then any outside help
you seek will be fruitless.


There are other techniques you can use to "get through" to your
teen, but these are some of the most helpful.
 

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